Harry Potter and the Magic Muggle
by Miriam G
Summary: My name is Jo, and my life is a train wreck! It all started when I was 11 and I found out that my cousin Hermione is a witch. Suddenly I was pulled into a crazy magic world I didn’t belong in. After all, I’m only a muggle with no powers… right?


Scottish accent Great, even better! Rewrite, rewrite!

I wrote this fic when I was 15, and like most things I wrote so long ago, now I can hardly read it without cringing. But since people keep telling me how great and original this story is, I decided to revise each chapter and post it again, even though rewriting can be bloody boring.

Also, you have to remember that I wrote this long before OotP came out, so naturally it doesn't quite fit in with the plot of the last two books.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series. If I did, I surely wouldn't waste my time writing fanfiction.

Chapter 1: Hermione's secret

I've been told that the first step to solving a problem is to admit that one has a problem. So here goes: My name is Jo, and my life is a train wreck!

Yes, that's right! I'm dumped and broke and out of options and am wondering just how much worse it can get. Unfortunately I know just how much worse things can get. Because I remember a time when one dangerous happening followed the next and I didn't know if I would live to be old enough to get a driver's license.

This was back when I was eleven – many, many years ago. It all started on a day like this one; a day when I thought that it couldn't get worse. A day of unbelievable horror and suffering: family reunion. Yikes!

Our family holds a reunion every five years. When I was six, the only bearable thing about the family reunion was all the sweets. When I was eleven, we didn't even have them. That year the family reunion was at my uncle's and aunt's who are both dentists, so the only snacks we got was sugar free stuff that tasted like crap.

While my parents were chatting excitedly to some uncle of mine, I was sitting on the couch, bored to death. My tired ears listened intently to the ticking of the big grandfather clock in the corner, anxious to hear it chiming, so that my parents would realize that it was time to go home.

My only companion was my cat, Misty. Mum and Dad wouldn't allow me to take her with me, but I had insisted on it. I think Misty was pretty bored, too. She sat lazily on my lap and purred while I was stroking her belly.

'This is the last day of the summer holidays,' I thought grimly. 'What a complete and utter waste of holidays!'

I was getting so bored that I decided to find out what would happen if I pretended to be dead. I lay down on the green carpet on the floor with my hands and feet outstretched in a pitiful position, my tongue hanging out and my eyes crossed. Misty didn't seem to care. She just walked over to me and rubbed herself against my stomach.

Suddenly I heard Mum's voice asking, "Are you bored, Jo?" I turned my head to see her standing over me.

"Why do you think that?" I replied with sarcasm as heavy as a 16-ton weight.

Mum suggested, "Why don't you go talk to your cousin Hermione?"

I rolled my eyes. She had to be kidding! Not only was Hermione four years older than me, but she was also awfully boring. At the last family reunion, when I was six, I asked her to play with me outside, but the only thing she could think of was studying, studying and studying some more, just in case she hadn't studied enough already. Really, that girl couldn't be normal!

Before I could say something, Mum told me, "She is sitting in her room all by herself. I'm sure she would love to have someone to talk to."

"Right," I muttered quietly, so Mum wouldn't hear it.

Although I knew it was no use, I got up and left the living room, leaving the clatter of the adults' boring conversations behind me. Sighing, I walked down the quiet, brightly lit corridor to Hermione's room. Her door was clearly marked with a sign with her name and a picture of an otter on it. I raised my fist to knock, but then paused. Knowing Hermione, she was probably busy preparing for the first day of school. If I disturbed her by knocking on the door, she might get angry and complain to her parents. And my day was clearly bad enough without getting told off on top of everything else.

I decided to open the door a slit to see what my cousin was doing. If she looked busy, I could just close the door and continue pretending to be dead.

Carefully and quietly I turned the knob and opened the door just enough to see what was going on in the room. Hermione was crouching on the floor beside her bed. I couldn't see what she was doing, so I opened the door a little more. Now I realized that she was packing a big suitcase.

I recalled Hermione's parents telling my parents that she was going to some kind of boarding school for students with special abilities (whatever that meant). With a shiver I remembered that I was going to a boarding school the next day myself and I hadn't even started packing yet. Thinking about having to stay away from home for a whole year made me very nervous.

I watched Hermione again. There were tons of books in the suitcase (probably schoolbooks) and something round and shiny that I didn't quite recognize. It looked like a cauldron, but why would Hermione take a cauldron to school?

Now she put something else into the suitcase. It was a thin piece of wood. I couldn't believe that she needed a twig at school. It almost looked like a...

My eyes grew wide when Hermione picked up a long, black piece of cloth from the floor. It was a cloak, it was definitely a cloak! My mind was spinning. This was just too crazy! Hermione was packing a cauldron, a cloak and a magic wand in her suitcase.

Alright, maybe this was just some kind of Halloween costume (even though taking a costume to boarding school didn't sound like Hermione at all), but perhaps... Could it be...?

Suddenly I heard someone hissing. It was Misty. She was fighting with Crookshanks, Hermione's weird-looking cat.

"Stop it, Misty!" I whispered and tried to get Misty's claws off Crookshanks' fur.

Hermione looked up when she heard the racket the two cats were making. "Crookshanks, what are you doing?" she yelled. Of course she noticed me immediately, standing behind her door. She stared into my eyes with a surprised expression. I stared back, feeling as if my heart was taking a walk inside my skull.

After a while Hermione asked, "Have you been spying on me?"

I shook my head furiously and cried, "No, no, no!"

Hermione got on her feet and walked over to me. She pulled Crookshanks away from Misty and asked me, "What are you doing here, then?"

"I, er..." I didn't know what to say, so I answered, "Well, er, perhaps I did spy on you, but I didn't mean to. I was just..."

My gaze wandered past Hermione's shoulder to the suitcase with the cloak and the wand. Hermione must have noticed that, because she explained, "I need those things for school."

Before I even realized that I had opened my mouth, I uttered the question, "Are you a witch?"

Hermione looked down at me with a serious expression. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so I closed it again.

Finally Hermione said, "You're right. I am a witch."

The blood froze in my veins. Was she going to turn me into a toad?

Hermione probably interpreted my frightened expression correctly, because she explained, "Don't worry. I won't hurt you. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone about this. Not even your family."

Still trembling slightly, I nodded and looked down the hall, where our parents were sitting in the living room. I turned my head back to Hermione to ask her, "Do your parents know?"

"Of course," she replied "I go to a school for wizards and witches."

"So there are more of your kind?" My eyes widened.

Hermione looked at me as if I had just suggested that the moon was made of jelly. She stated matter-of-factly, "Of course there are more. What did you think?"

Before I had time to ask another question, I suddenly heard a knock on the window in Hermione's room. Hermione turned around to see a big, white owl outside her window. I was tempted to ask whether this was someone she had turned into a bird, but decided not to.

Hermione opened the window and let the owl in. The bird cruised aimlessly around the room for a few moments before it landed on Hermione's desk and held out one claw which had a letter tied to it. Carefully Hermione untied the letter from the foot.

I entered the room shyly and asked, "What is that thing?"

Hermione looked up from the envelope in her hands and replied, "It's an owl."

I could see that much.

"No, I mean, why is the owl carrying a letter?"

Hermione explained, "All wizards and witches send their letters with owls. This is a letter from Harry Potter, one of my friends at school."

"How does the owl know where to find you?" I wondered.

Hermione shrugged and tore the envelope open.

She didn't seem to be too interested in talking to me, so I just took Misty on my arm and made my way back into the living room.

Grinning excitedly to myself I decided that this had been the craziest thing I had ever heard about. My cousin was a real-life witch! How exciting was that?

At that point I had no idea to what extent this knowledge would change my life.


End file.
